A Singles Group is held at a local church where I participated in a Divorce Rebuilding course series. With only minimal investigation of the Singles Group, my understanding of its function is the group is solely for the purpose of finding comfort in living as a single person while focusing on growing in relationship with God.
I desire this comfort.
I observe a constant urge in almost everyone I encounter to seek and find a life partner. Where does this come from? Why is almost every single person I know discontented with living as a single person? If we are seeking a human partner before placing the most importance on our relationship with God, how do we know if and when another person is the “right” one?
The ABC television series “Lost” relates… at least I think so anyway.
In Season 5, Jack, Hurley, Miles, Kate (and a few others characters who crashed on the mysterious island) find themselves stuck in a continuous time-travel dilemma that rockets them in and out of different time periods on the Island. From the 70’s to the 90’s, back and forth to present day; the islanders learn the changes in time are not only difficult to endure, but can also be fatal. One way to stop the fatality and unwanted time-period travel is to identify with a Constant, meaning something that does not or cannot change or vary through time, as previously noted.
Most importantly, the islanders are reminded to have faith in the events of the Island.
This past year I have felt as though I have been whipped around into multiple dimensions; sometimes nothing has made sense to me. While I have not experienced the process of being rocketed back and forth from different eras, my emotions represent the tumulus effects of such events. Watching the series leads me to search and review my life Constants. My three Constants are God (The Supreme Unchanging Constant), Alcoholics Anonymous, and the Unconditional Love found among closest family and friends.
During my journey of 2009, I discovered that I am most likely the worst "dater" ever in the history of people trying to date. Perhaps it was not the best time for dates; nonetheless I conclude I am an awful date. Every time I go it tends to be a slow collision into a bad experience. What is the deal with "dating" anyway? When I am out, I keep thinking, if I am not that connected to you (I can usually tell this initially) then why am I wasting my time having dinner or participating in other dating activities, pointless conversation, possibly receiving a physical advance, and then dealing with the aftermath of being asked out or not asked out again. I'd rather be with my son, reading a book, with friends or family, or... so many other things would be a better use of my time. I think if I re decide to become a dater, I will suggest the local church add a Dating Group to the list of Community Groups offered. I will be the first to sign on.
Not only have I discovered I am a horrible dater, this past year I made errors, questioned my sanity on many occasions (nothing new), neglected myself and others, and I endured numerous sleepless nights. None of this really matters in the end. What matters is my ability to remain in the present with focus on my Constants. I find pure and true happiness if and when I remember this essential fact of life.
I read this sentiment today written by friend:
“I'm holding steadfast to my faith, beliefs and sobriety. I'll wait on God and practice a little patience while in the face of adversity. I refuse to be taken down and will walk with my head held high and my integrity in tact because I believe in the end of the story.”
I am learning to believe in my story as it is now, regardless of pain, adversity, and the “ugh” I can feel in the midst of it all.
Faith in God, who is my Supreme and Unchanging Constant, is required just as the Islanders on Lost must demonstrate faith in their Mysterious Land.
The Big Book tells me absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.
The events of my life are exactly as they are supposed to be.
Yea! Your back blogging!
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