Finding Peace among Illness

Today has been an interesting day. I am sitting here typing at the blog but barely able to sit at my computer. My feverish state has turned into a full-blown, odd illness. Why am I writing instead of resting, I have no idea. I took my son to his friend’s house this morning and then managed to make a scheduled meeting time with the person I see for spiritual advisement.



As I was driving to my meeting this afternoon I was speaking on the telephone with a good fellow-AA friend. I had spoken with him the previous day to provide experiential advice and he was calling to report in on progress. My fellow-AA friend called me sage on the telephone today, and at the end of the conversation he claimed I was the sanest woman in AA. The interesting paradox is I am not feeling sagey at all (if this is even a word) and I am not feeling the least bit sane lately. I guess whatever I shared in my feverish state of yesterday was applicable to his circumstances. I have learned to tune me out and direct attention to others even when my states are not so good. Sometimes this is a good thing while other times my overly helpful behavior is an example of pure neglect of self-care.

I recall this statement from my meeting today: anything I keep inside ceases to have power over me once it reaches the light of day. My meeting of spiritual centering today was an example of how I come to terms with powerlessness and find peace. Yesterday I wrote I find peace in my life when I complete an honest and thorough appraisal of myself, share this with another human being, and ask for God’s guidance in making the right choices. I will remain in step three and part three of my personal peacemaking until the right answers come.